For those of you who do not know I have been viciously attacked on twitter over and over. No one with the government will help me. My site is being screwed with so no one sees the proof about my accident or the lies. I now get filled with rage. I bite on books and break pens with my teeth. I cry and scream openly . I want the hell to end. I want the animals that I thought were human to all just go away. I want this person attacking me to get a disease and for their children and family to completely be wiped from the planet. I want someone to tell me who they are so I can shave their head and ram my knee between their legs so they feel the mental pain I feel when ever they remind me of JEREMY GILBREATHE and what he did to me. I want to beat the crap out of the men in suits stalking me and the yogis who want to remind me I can not be an actor because Blake Shields is a yogi and MALE but I am a woman and I really just want to date a yogi not be an actor.
I want to hurt my father for every time I hear a whisper of someone talking about me living off my father from some third party, probably LEE RYDER or Tony Blair or Michael Lovern. All of whom worked BACKGROUND with me. My mother I can still hear her voice telling me after I told her I was tripped on a set that now I have to give up what I love. Why? Because my mother was jealous I was off in the world doing what I wanted and not trapped with a husband and imprisoned in a kitchen as the HELP.
I never hurt anyone but I FEEL THE RAGE when i get a jury duty notice and think about all the lawyers out there who hate me because I refused to practice even though I am so mentally damaged now the thought of working with lawyers or around them makes me want to smash things.
I think about my high school and the bastard on line attacking me over and over and saying I am just a librarian and I want to make them wear glasses and pocket protectors and force them to wear braces. I want this person to know what it feels to be ashamed of being NOT COOL. I want the world to know who they are so they can be made fun of and trolled and bullied and know what it feels to cause me so much pain. I want them to be excluded from the VIP parties they claim to be going to and to be seen as the MONSTER they really are. What is disturbing to me is they could be an actor I even watch. they could be an actor I think is cool. but they are not. they are just another bully in wool and i want it to itch them so bad they are forced to rip their own skin off to reveal who they truly are.
In the end the truth is I will never do any of the above. I will probably just quietly end my own life one day because the humiliation of not being an equal with my union and knowing I have been labelled not good enough, either by HBO because I dated JORDAN MARKS or SAG AFTRA because I spoke out about the merger and was a liberal or DISNEY because I told COURTNEY LOVELL I liked BLAKE SHIELDS and was being BULLIED BY Marquesa Moreland. Or by the group of FRIENDS protecting JEREMEMY GILBREATHE who I will to my dying breath hate for molesting me and when I begged him to leave me alone told people I would be fired. Heaven forbid I be seen as cool. I am supposed to be a MONSTER. I would never be caste as the nice girl or the one who gets the guy. I was cast to be made to look pathetic so no one would think I would be with a cool guy.