Jul 012016
 

I have finally realized the core of my nightmare.  Narcissism.  I want to write something more detailed later.  Basically I am stuck in some kind of twisted co dependent relationship with an egg.  The kind that appear on twitter when an account has no picture. 

Yes. I am still being twitter stalked.  See the category called twitter attacks.  I have had so many recently I have just screen shot them and digitally filed them away.  This person is obsessed or being paid to abuse me.  I wonder what would happen if they got what they wanted.  I kill myself and i am no longer on Twitter.  They claim they are tired of my whining about being on sets.  Then why read my twitter or subscribe to my emails?  Guilt perhaps?  I have no idea who this person or people are?  They obviously knew me at some point.  They know information about the union and events.  They seem to need my destruction as if by hurting me they gain something.  They can not let me be successful or be happy or they lack something.  Very much the action of the abusive husband.  Isolate and control. 

For me I am home.  There is no place to ship me off too.  I was never close to my family and now older Im the lone liberal wolf.  It scares me how one can be ostracized from Hope.  My family and home are here in Los Angeles.  I want to live my life and practice my spiritual path without the high school jealous games of little girls and zionists.   I can not make someone love me and I will not be forced to love.  Im also incredibly perceptive.  Stop assuming Im doing anything to get to someone or stalk them.  My life is about being an artist. There is no me being the person you want me to be. As an artist I have a need for people to know I exist, to hear my message and voice.  I have a need to delve into my inner core and express what I see and feel there.  I have had people contact me and ask me why i put my personal stuff online.  Because I need to expose my inner demons perhaps, but it also has to do with the nature of creation.  Irony is my stalker keeps screaming at me to create yet seems clueless to the fact by cutting me off from other creators they are coating me the capacity to create. I do nt watch B horror films.  I watch syfy and thrillers and dramedies and the CW.  I watch Doyle and Houdini and Arrow.  I watch Gotham but violent. 

I probably know more than you think and it is so annoying and disrespectful when you play games over boys instead of perceiving i think for my own.  My troll says they are female.  They lack compassion and seem determined to destroy not nurture me or anyone. 

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