Feb 252015

Sometimes all a beaten down person needs is enough understanding.

This is me on a bad day.

But believe this is not me at my best.

Let me heal and get some rest and all you need to give me is patience and acceptance.

I see that in my life a great deal.  We assume someone who looks bad can’t be made better.  We make fun of bad pictures of celebrities without realizing that the person we are and the person we are sitting next to could all change in an instant.  Health.  Wealth.  Age.  The surfaces of who we are can be made to change.  And we ALL have bad days.  We all have days we forget to shave.  We are in a rush and put on mismatched socks.  Perfect people scare me.  It makes me wonder what is really wrong with them under the surface.  There is beauty in imperfections.  beauty and humanity in the scars of life. 

As an actor I want to play people with scars.  I want to play people who have depth.  Noting in life is pain free.  I wish we made things easier on each other.  I wish we practiced what we preached.  Don’t practice LOVE and COMPASSION if you can’t see the hypocrisy in judging on the surface.  There is beauty in me.  There is beauty in you. And I am not perfect. I don’t like to put people down. I don’t like to hurt others.  But when I am scared and terrified words are the ONLY weapon I can use. I sit at home tonight while the Oscars are being presented.

I never go.  I am not in an Oscar winning film yet.  But I look at the photos of the different types of people in attendance and know that the way the UNION has been treating me is loaded with Hypocrisy.  Thank you Arquette.  I worked on set with her years ago.  MEDIUM.  Nice people.  Equality is essential.  What I like about ARQUETTE is she hasn’t tried to make herself perfect.  She is beautiful but she hasn’t tried to make herself white and pearly and fake.  Real actors recognize they are portraying real characters and in order for an audience to want to watch an actor, they must portray characters that are relatable to the rest of humanity. 


i leave you with this video of a quote written by Mary Wollstonecraft.  It is  part of an audition I cancelled because I do not want to degrade myself. I have boundaries.  I also did not think that it was the right thing for me to do.  See my TWITTER attacks as after I cancelled this audition I was abused by my attacker and told to reschedule.  I am not interested in doing a feminist piece where there is lower body nudity.  I am NOT A PERFORMANCE ARTIST.  I am an actor and activist.  I am not interested in being slandered and put in a position where I can’t work with respectable actors with class and training.  Peace. 



Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2015 Laura Ann Tull
 Posted by at 6:16 am
Feb 282014

Not sure where I got this. I don’t remember writing it, but found it written. 

It’s the words you treasure
When they emulate from love
It’s the words you remember
When you reflect on what you’ve done.
It’s the words that are immortal
When there’s pain in their deliverance
It’s the words that transcend
any physical scars and tangent marks of past acts of shame.
It’s the words that last
So chose them wisely with hope
To make the moments be beautiful memories

This I did write:

Find your passions and do them.  Don’t try to be who other people want you to be.  Even your parents may be wrong about who you are and what you can do.  Explore the world, learn, create, be curious.  If you find what you love to do, good it takes practice.  Don’t be afraid to have fun and be silly. The silly moments are the ones you will treasure later.  To find friends do what you love to as your true friends will get what you get, and understand who you are. 

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2014 Laura Ann Tull
 Posted by at 8:46 am
Jan 082014

Performed for EMERGENCY USA, I wrote this poem the week I performed it. I was asked to create something by Anna Gilmore who is on Emergency USA’s board for a charity benefit. It was odd. I am not sure how she knew I could do this. Acutally I had performed for VERBALLY LOUD and my subject of choice was often human concerns and interest from CANCER to STUDENT OPRESSION in IRAN. I met Anna at World Fest where she had a booth to explain to attendees what her ortanization does. If you GET a chance, I highly recomment attending WORLD FEST in the LAKE BALBOA area of LOS ANGELES. It is held near EARTH DAY and if you are a member of any of the VEGAN groups on MEET up you can often get a discounted ticket. They usually also have a discount if you prove you road the METRO for the day. The event is near the ORANGE LINE.

I was not the only performer. I had performed in Santa Monica at a poetry reading and met Kevin Patrick there who was a spoken word artist of a more urban flavor. I met with Anna and Kevin and read him my work and he fashioned a piece to match mine. I read part of my work, he did what he wrote, and there was also a film about EMERGENCY USA played in between. THis I believe is the LONGEST piece of poetry I have ever written. At the same time it is more of a poetic dialogue of the history of the Land Mind in the use of WAR and why EMERGENCY was CREATED. It is also a call for the world to stop the destructive ways advanced military countries approach conflict and war.

Green Parrots- by Laura Ann Tull

Greetings from Kurdistan; Afghanistan; Iraq;
Angola; Bosnia; Somalia; Eritrea; Cambodia.
Over and over
Names, skin color, countries change,
But all read the same.

A green parrot
Bright, shiny
A winged metal cylinder
Four inches long
Flutters to land
In little tiny young hands
A land mind, personal delivery
A war on terrorism
Enduring Freedom!
But buried by the water spring
And a loved one’s grave
Lays a little bird in wait to take
Someone’s hand, arm, foot or life away.
I need to make some pay
I need food

A Valmara 69, an antipersonnel mine,
The green parrots metal cylinder
Will give us a dollar
Four to detonate – one mine
Leaves two dead, two injured
Is it worth the price?
This little tiny destructive device?

Little boys find new toys
Bright, shiny, and nice
They take them home and store them away
But sooner or later they take it out to play
With a magnet, a rock or a nail
In the Middle East so far away
Little men grow up and learn
How real men behave
I’ve lost a finger, a limb, the use of my arm
Don’t give it too much importance
For our lives at least go on
For some they lose an arm or a leg
In a place so poor, they cannot be cared for or fed.

Who does this you say?
Blows little lives away
The Soviets make butterfly mines
The Italians made the Valmara 69

Emergency – Gino Strata- 1997
And one million postcards
Arrived at the door
Of Italy’s President and that country decided
To give birth to green parrots no more.
Each card showed not a pretty little bird
But a child mutilated, and damaged and broken beyond repair
Children who paid too high a price
For little indiscriminate toys that don’t destroy the enemy,
But little innocent hopes and dreams.

The Pentagon and the USA make smart bombs, so they claim
To paint the enemy countryside with small graves
They eliminated the dumb ones by 1999,
Except for the ones planted for Korean’s to find.
Those still sit and wait for tiny little hands or feet to steal their fate.
They say it is a small world, so how many in the USA might find
That they somehow know a little child a million miles away
Who lost an arm, a foot, or a leg today?
So why do we who do not live near our enemy
Make these toys for the young to find
And destroy civilians who have nothing to harm us or to hide.
What if these green parrots never flew away?
If they never leave home,
They will not take little lives.
If we want to make others free
Give them back their land
Restore their dignity and human security.
We can eliminate war the disease,
If we remove all the courageous little soldiers
That never misses and never sleeps.
A country can’t plant new seeds,
If digging a hole will create brutality.
To make stronger better boys and girls
Children need to be safe
To play and to dream.

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2014 Laura Ann Tull
 Posted by at 12:42 am
Dec 282013

No one’s going to remember me or the pain that I tread.

No one’s going to remember me or the life that I lead.

No one’s going to see the lack of joy in me as misery caused by human pain.

It’s a sad sad day when the only things you love are the things that are not man made.

When you perceive the fact that everything in this world that’s worth perceiving

are not the cars and houses and devices of man but the trees and the beaches.

That the most beautiful things that life has to give are out of your hands

for man did not make them.

Man can not perceive the power in a tree.

Man can not perceive the love the world can be.

What do you say to the world where everything man made causes pain.

What do you say of the world where everything worth living for can’t walk down the lane.

When a tree stands alone is the most beautiful thing to see.

When a tree stands alone will it out live our misery.

If all the world were nothing but trees would love cease to be.

-Laura Ann Tull

I was in a weird bad mood when I wrote this walking by the Santa Monica airport recording my thoughts into my phone. I changed the final version and cleaned it up. I realized what would happen if we disappeared. It is that old proverb if a tree falls in the woods does it still make a sound if we are not there to hear it.

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2013 Laura Ann Tull
 Posted by at 11:44 pm
Dec 012013

If you are someone who loved me before, the door is closed if you hold a yoke around my neck.  If you truly care then let me go. See me fly and see the world. Loving me means setting me free. I need to take care of me. But how can I do that if […]

 Posted by at 4:54 pm